A Sunday Funny

In the year 2013, the Lord came unto Noah, Who was now living in America and said: "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark. "Noah!," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed."

"I needed a Building Permit. I've been arguing with the Boat Inspector about the need for a sprinkler system."

"My homeowners association claims that I've violated the Neighborhood by-laws by building the Ark in my back yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the local Planning Committee for a decision."

"Then the City Council and the Electricity Company demanded a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear none of it."

"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!"

"When I started gathering the animals, PETA took me to court. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space."

"Then the Environmental Protection Agency ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on Your proposed flood."

"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew."

"The Immigration Dept. is checking the visa status of most of the people who want to work. The labor unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only union workers with ark-building experience."

"To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species."

"So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. "The Government beat me to it."

(author unknown)

Sewer Update

“At the Sept. 14 (Committee Meeting of Council) Director of Public Safety Scott Thomas reported that since June 15, 2015, the Sewer Department has responded to 227 homes within the City, personally. But they have also hired an outside company to clean the main line from Walmar Road at Wolf Road, all the way to Bay High School, where it shoots over to the Huntington Long Beach Life Station. In that time, they have cleaned 8,850 feet of line, ranging from 8 to 15 inches. They have cleaned everything out from mop heads, underwear, bricks and plaque, one being as large as 13 by 15. Pieces of metal were also found in the lines. Cleaning those lines has made a significant difference in the line of Wolf Road.

The Sewer Department Crews have cleaned 11,785 feet of lateral sewer on the private side since June. They have filmed 640 feet of storm lateral sewers on private property. They have filmed 1,980 feet of total sanitary main line, and 10,141 feet of storm main line, including Walker Road, Walmar Road, Timberlane, Mancherster, and Bradley Road. They have flushed 10,500 feet of sanitary main lines, and 1,700 feet of storm main lines. In addition, on Bradley Road, at Huntington Woods, the Sewer Department found a particular problem area of 354 feet that shoots laterally from Bradley Road over to Lake Road and removed 4 yards of debris.

Mr. Thomas commended the Sewer Crew for the job they have done. They will continue with the cleaning and also develop a 5-year plan to address any particular problem areas they are seeing.”

Council Votes to Accept Sculpture Donation

Paul Vincent: Did we pour the concrete? Scott Thomas: Yes.

Vincent expresses concern over the safety.

Mayor: We can take a look at it. I also wanted to mention when this got installed, I just wanted to say, it was installed without my knowledge and Scott’s. We try to foster creativity and initiative down the ranks and I think somebody did that and they forgot about the process that we have at the top. So, it gives us an opportunity for a little training and we can certainly take a look at stabilizing that.

Dave Tadych: Who picked the spot?

Mayor: Well Dave we don’t know.

Paul Vincent: If we do accept it can we decide on a different locale? It’s up to us right?

Mayor: Yes. You can talk about what you want to do.

Me: I was at last week’s meeting and I listened to the recording three times and what was said this evening about the sculpture and what was said last week are different stories. I am a little upset by it because I think it is indicative of how we get around things. I don’t know which version is true but I certainly hope that - because in either version procedure was bypassed – council holds somebody accountable for what happened with the sculpture.

Another audience member: We know that someone actually put the statue and the concrete around. Have you talked to those gentlemen? Scott Thomas: What we have done, I’ve had a short conversation and I’m still backtracking to find out how myself and the mayor didn’t know about it.

I don’t think it is any longer a discussion about taking the sculpture down or where to move it or by who and how it got placed as much as it is to acknowledge that no matter who ends up taking the fall - the ultimate responsibility is on the city, “the top”, and the violation of the ordinance. Yet, the resolution last night was accepted by 5 of 7 Council/ Cahoon Park Trustees. Karen Lieske and Tom Henderson voted no.

The resolution reads, in part, “The Council hereby accepts the donation of a wooden sculpture to the City of Bay Village Recreation Department with an estimated value in excess of $100.00.” I confirmed this morning that the ordinance has not changed. If the donation is “in excess of $100.00 it shall be submitted to Council…or forwarded by boards or agencies receiving such offer.”

As the mayor stated last week she was approached by the artist. She looked at it. It was on her to “submit to Council” or the Cahoon Park Trustees. It no longer really matters if you believe some service dept. people acted on their own which is probably highly unlikely. What matters is the city ignored the ordinance and the council members that voted yes - also ignored the ordinance.

http://www.cleveland.com/bay-village/index.ssf/2015/09/bay_village_city_officials_don.html

The Sculpture Charade

Comedy of errors? Magical elves? A slip into the Twilight Zone? No one in your city administration knows who placed the sculpture at Bay pool. Last week Scott Thomas didn’t know. At tonight’s (9/21) meeting he still didn’t know. He said he is back tracking that information. Last week the mayor knew all about it, this week she assumes no responsibility and she no longer knows how the sculpture got there. I have been sitting at this keyboard for 2 hours not knowing what to say or how to say it. So, I will go sleep on this and fill you in tomorrow when I am not so - Upset? Disgusted? Disenchanted? Confused? Curious? Perplexed? All of the Above.

Art Donation Bypasses All the Rules

The city bypassed the Cahoon Memorial Park Trustees. This summer a sculpture donated to the city was erected by the pool. The city has a process for accepting gifts and donations. It came as a surprise to some council members that this process was not adhered to. The city could claim that the value of the gift does not exceed $100 per the ordinance; therefore it did not need to go before council or Cahoon Memorial Park Trustees. Gary Ebert commented “We are not the people going to make the dollar value determination.” The wooden sculpture stands almost 6 feet plus a cement base. The artist puts the value on the work. Would the artist say the value exceeded $100?

Paul Koomar stated that normally we give approval prior to things being installed “but this popped up over the summer, so with the timing and so…” However, the mayor commented she knew about the gift for a year and a half; ample time to put it before council per the ordinance. When asked who placed the statue, the mayor said our service department did. Scott Thomas (Director of Public Services & Properties, & Safety Director) was unaware that his staff set the sculpture.

Karen Lieske questioned the terms of the process and the great pride and care we take regarding signage, etc in keeping with the Bay Village theme. She asked if someone came and presented any type of drawing before the sculpture was installed. Sutherland: “No.” She stated the artist created it and offered to donate it to the city and we went to look at it and tried to find an appropriate location for it and “the pool is the lucky winner.” Karen was also concerned about what this might mean if someone else came forth and wanted to put something in the park. Concerns were raised over the safety, the hollow base.

Tom Henderson asked if we have a normal process for accepting art. The mayor said “Um well we have a process for accepting donations.”The deed of gift will be presented next week when council will vote on acceptance only, not whether to keep it or not. The vote is merely a formality at this point since the sculpture is already set in stone – literally.

The ordinance reads: 103.05 ACCEPTANCE OF DONATIONS AND GIFTS. (a) All offers of property and/or services to be donated to the City having a value in excess of one hundred dollars ($100.00) shall be submitted to Council by the donor or forwarded to Council by the boards or agencies receiving such offer for acceptance by Council on behalf of the City. (b) Satisfactory assurance must be received by Council that the donor has the power to make such a donation and that, if property is involved, it is fully paid for or satisfactory arrangements have been made for payment. (Ord. 66-161. Passed 2-20-67.)

The League of Women Voters steps up again

Due to the ongoing generosity of the League of Women Voters the city no longer has to concern themselves with city funds being expended for a project they seemed less than happy about. When it comes to the recording equipment, getting the cheapest estimate or cutting services is no longer going to happen. Tonight League President Claire Banasiak announced the League will pay the entire amount for the recording equipment, “As a benefit to the residents”. This announcement brought smiles to the faces of city council. The residents are fortunate the League took the steps that will secure quality equipment meant to last and with the ability to grow in the years to come, along with honoring the original intent of the gift. Many thanks to our local League of Women Voters.

Keep your ears open

A behind the scenes comment was heard at the August 17th Special Meeting. While council and the mayor were leaving chambers to attend executive session, someone made a comment regarding the vote for the city hall parking lot. The mayor was overheard saying “Just wait until they find out about the water”. Unknown what this means or is in reference to. Council will resume regular meetings on September 14th. Maybe the meaning of this comment will reveal itself in the upcoming Monday sessions.